How I See Things

How I See Things
Cartoon-like drawing in shades of dark to medium purple. Eyes with beautiful eyelashes, looking through a pair of glasses.

Monday, July 18, 2022

Polarity



I have been observing the world for, well, my entire life. And by “world,” I mostly mean: The United States. I have spent the majority of my life here in the USA, though I have spent some minimal time in other countries. 

One of the things I have noticed become more prominent is since the beginning of Facebook. And, even then, only in the last few years in particular. 

I have noticed trolls - you know, those people on Facebook who love to pick arguments no matter what the topic is. At first, it seemed like trolls were just angry, mean people who got their jollies off of saying negative things to hurting people online, on forums, on Facebook. 

I remember seeing an article in The Christian Science Monitor quite a few years ago called, “The United States of Anger.” I went looking for it on their website, www.CSMonitor.com, but I can’t find it. There are over 70,000 “relevant” searches on the topic, but they are all from 2022. The article I am thinking about probably predated Nancy Pelosi’s first stint as a Speaker for the House. Whenever that was. 

The title caught my eye. It rang true for me, internally, and at the time I was the kind of person who prayed about everything. So I prayed about it. Trying to exude peace and love and kindness on the world, to help allay anger, smother the anger so it would turn into kindness towards one another.

I have noticed the United States is in a Civil War. It’s been going on quite a while. I can’t remember if I felt that was true before I saw the article, or after I saw the article. 

I feel like the war in the United States is extremely polar: Democrats vs. Republicans. It’s driving me bonkers, how close-minded folks are. So many people think everything is either Red OR Green. No other shade. (I would say “black vs. white,” but this is too commonly used, so I looked at the color wheel tattoo on my arm and chose 2 other, opposite colors.” 

I read this article this past week - and it scares me: 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2022/03/08/they-are-preparing-war-an-expert-civil-wars-discusses-where-political-extremists-are-taking-this-country/ 

I thought we were already in a Civil War. I was wrong. We’re still heading to one. 

I want to close this blog post with a quote from the late, honorable Senator Elijah Cummings, that I found on a USA Today page

"I've often said on the floor of the Maryland House of Delegates that our world would be a much better world, and a much better place, if we would only concentrate on the things we have in common, instead of concentrating on our differences," Cummings said. "It's easy to find differences, very easy. We need to take more time to find common ground." 

He paraphrased a Benjamin Mays poem, which he said he told himself as many as 20 times a day.

"I only have a minute, 60 seconds in it," he said. "Forced upon me, I did not choose it, but I know that I must use it, give account if I abuse it, suffer if I lose it. Only a tiny little minute.

"But eternity is in it." 

Thursday, July 14, 2022

Dissociation

A portion of an acrylic painting I did. Light turquoise, medium dusty blue, silver interact in an almost ethereal way.


Insurance doesn’t pay for vision therapy. And I couldn’t afford to go to vision therapy while also sending my son to visit on therapy. So, I stopped going to vision therapy when it was time to send my son. He is younger and I felt vision therapy could help him so much more than it’s been able to help my mid-life-self. I was right. it was the right thing to do. 

 Since stopping vision therapy, I am realizing I have started to go backwards. 

My eyes fatigue a lot. They are in pain a lot now. And I am finally admitting this to myself. 

Also, I am starting to dissociate again. Dissociating for me is when I float above my body. My mind is somewhere else entirely. I can be doing things and looking like I am interacting normally with whatever’s in front of me. It could be doing the dishes or driving my car on an extremely familiar route. 

I am just starting to admit this to myself - that I am starting to dissociate again. Time to get out the ankle weights, and do more difficult tasks that require focus, to keep me grounded. 

Monday, June 27, 2022

My son’s vision


It’s official - after about a year with vision therapy for my son, he no longer needs vision therapy!

He went to vision therapy for about 18 months or so. 

According to the vision therapist, Dr. Tod Davis, my son no longer needs vision therapy!!

He can see in 3D and he is doing great! Oh my gosh!

Dr. Davis said that my son should be evaluated again in a year. 

I am hopeful that his vision will stay fantastic. 

Wow - the miracles of modern day vision therapy. 

I am so grateful to Dr. Tod Davis of Virginia Vision Therapy. 

Monday, June 13, 2022

Seeing the Beauty

A friend has enjoyed seeing photos I take wherever I go. I take a LOT of photos. 

My friend remarked that for someone who has vision issues, I definitely notice beautiful things & she is grateful I share them so other people can see them, too. 

So I thought: what if I share some photos on my blog here? 

So, perhaps you will enjoy this gallery of beautiful things I have photographed. 

Enjoy. 


A gorgeous sunset, and the human elements of electrical power. 

My 2 dogs, running with a friend of theirs - Jasper is the black American Cocker Spaniel in the front. Sparky is the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (with perhaps a mix of Chihuahua in him, because his ears are short … they are sticking up in this photo because he is running!) … and their friend in the back, chasing Sparky. 

I love how Jasper poses for the camera. 

Sparky taking a doze on a friend’s ottoman. 

Jasper’s cute butt while he looks out the window. 

Another gorgeous sunset. The Shenandoah Mountains near where I live. 

Sparky and Jasper romping - ears up!

A fire sunset with the snow in the foreground. 


Baby pinecones forming. I actually tasted one, too. It tasted like pine. Definitely interesting. 

Lilly pads in a pond. 

Interesting formations on a tree. Not sure what they are, but I like them. 

Boats on a lake, fog in the background. 

Purple Irises. 

Forest in front of a lake. 


Jasper looking at the camera. His nose. This one may not be a beautiful shot, but it’s fun. 



A chipmunk!

First sunset over the Atlantic Ocean. 

A local caterpillar in Shenandoah. These are harmless to people. But they make gigantic nests in the trees and kill off tree branches. Then they turn into small white moths. 

I hope you enjoyed this post! Maybe I should do more of these. This is literally, “How I See Things.” Photos of things I see. 




Monday, May 30, 2022

3D Moment




I live in a mountainous region (the Shenandoah Mountains, part of the Appalacean Mountain range in central Virginia.). 

I was driving on a road, and the sun was in my eyes. I must have mentioned before on this blog somewhere how sensitive my eyes are to light. I probaby mentioned it in one of my Dissociation posts. My eye doctor, Dr. Magic AKA Dr. Tod Davis of Virginia Vision Therapy liks the two. He says they are commonly linked -- dissociaiton and sensitivity to light. 

I already had on my prescription sunglasses. I added on orange clip-ons from Rainbow OPTX. 

I put them on, and felt my eyes open up. I wasn't being bombarded from the sun so strongly, and felt my eyes rest. 

Soon after, I was driving towards a perfect round tree on the right side of the road, and beyond the tree, I could see the mountains in the distance. 

Now, normally, it looks like a postcard to me. It's all flat. I know the mountain is beyond the  tree becasue 1) that's how it is, there is road going from in front of me, next to the tree, and getting smaller and smaller, eventually looks like it's running into the mountain. 2) the tree is covering part of the mountain. The mountain isn't hiding the tree. 

When my eyes were able to rest, and it was a clear, sunny day, I had a brief moment, driving towards that tree, where I saw the tree in 3D - popping closer to me than the mountains. 

I love the brief moments when I get to see something in 3D! The only time I consistently see in 3D is when I am in a 3D theater, wearing those special glasses. 

The rest of my drive and for drives in the future, I was trying to find a tree and mountains way off in the distance, so I could see the tree standing out , towards me, the way it did that one time. But, I only saw it the one time. 

I look forward to the time (and I have hope that this will happen some day) when my brain makes some adjustments and connections and can see in 3D consistently. 

Oh, the things the majority of folks out there take for granted. To me, seeing in 3D is magical. I'd love to see that magic a whole lot more in my life. 

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Johnny Depp

Who is watching the trial? I have watched a huge chunk of it. I don’t have great Internet at home and I don’t have cable TV. So I am watching what I can, when I can. 

I saw a portion this week that was Johnny Depp talking about his left eye. He said most people’s eyes are spherical in shape. Depp said his left eye was not spherical but rather oblong. Because of this, he said his brain never learned to use his left eye. He said he is legally blind in his left eye. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1Pnl8jc9kAbIA0_VLeArOENSDRF3kGujv
[Photo, courtesy of Vanity FairShows Johnny Fox on the witness stand in the Fairfax County Circuit Court in Fairfax, Virginia. Johnny is wearing pink rimmed glasses with blue lenses that match the knot of his blue tie.]

I see him put on his light blue glasses. I know I have always closed my right eye so I don’t see double when I am reading. But when I type, I tend to shut my left eye. 

I guess I was expecting to see Depp shut his left eye when reading the computer monitor, but he doesn’t. I guess he just doesn’t see out of it. It’s fascinating to me how many different eye issues people have. We all do our own quirks with these vision and eye issues. I have trouble seeing out of my left eye, and I do the flickering eyesightwhich overwhelms me with information and forces my brain to block out large portions of what I am taking in both visually and auditory.

He is an extraordinary actor. I have been a fan of his Mad Hatter character and his character in 21 Jump Street, and of course his Captain Jack Sparrow character for years. I wasn’t aware of all the other movies he was in, though. I have seen him in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. He did a great job, but I wasn’t a fan of that version of the movie. I also wasn’t a fan of the Sweeney Todd, Demon of Seville movie. 

It’s an interesting thing, when your eyes don’t work like “everyone else’s.” It makes you look at the world differently, laugh at different kinds of humor, find creativity everywhere you look. 

Regarding the trial, and I am treading carefully here, I have learned that too many people are abusers, and too many people have been victims of abuse. I believe any gender can be abused, and I believe any gender can be the abuser. 

It breaks my heart to see a victim tell the truth, even if it means bringing out their own skeletons from their own closet, and to see the abuser sit there on the stand, lying and believing they are getting away with something. 

May true justice prevail. 



Monday, February 28, 2022

Wiggle Our Toes

One of my vision issues is that I don’t like to read. Now, I thought I did like to read. But it turns out it makes my eyes hurt, and I skip over words. I try to get the gist of what I am reading without reading all of it. And if I go back and read every word, I am likely to tangle up the letters and mis-read it anyway. The whole thing is a chore and a nightmare for me. 




I have learned that I love listening to books on Audible. I mean, I love books. I love stories. I love learning things. And Audible works for me so well. I can be washing the dishes, keeping my hands busy, and read a book. I have listened to books while I take a road trip from the east coast to the mid-west. 

Recently, I have been listening to a book on Audible.com called “A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD,” by Sari Solden MS and Michelle Frank, PsyD. 


Yes, I have ADHD too, because of course I do. I didn’t have enough initials of things I have with C-PTSD, PTSD, Afib and SVT. Sigh. 


Today, she brought up Proprioception. My ears perked up. My mind was wandering during part of the book, because it does this. Thank you, ADHD. 


The authors talked about how people with ADHD are distant from their body, not paying attention to things. Constantly distracted. And how bringing them back to a sense of their body by working on proprioception can bring them awareness and help them focus. Be here now. 


The author gave us an exercise that started with wiggling our toes. I was driving my car. A friend of mine taught me to use my cruise control on long drives. And I had it going. And I was able to wiggle my toes as I listened to the author and as I drove through the Shenandoah Mountains. 


She said we should bring awareness to our toes. Feel ourselves down there, in our toes. I am not there yet, feeling like I exist down there in my toes. But it was sure worth a try. I definitely feel like I am in my head, my brain, all the time. I excessively think and overthink everything. I can’t shut it off. It’s constantly going and going and switching topics and losing focus and hyper focusing. It’s exhausting. 


But I wiggled my toes. She said to move up to our body and move our ankles. I was wiggling my toes and moving my ankles. And my ankles got tired. As a former ballerina, I was sad to realize how tired my ankles got from minimal movement. I have some work to do. 


She had the reader move on up their body to their knees, thighs, hips and shoulders and neck …. And I was still just trying to wiggle my toes and feel an awareness of myself down there. 



I like the idea that I can practice proprioception in this new way, and I wanted to share it. I will never be a circus acrobat. But hopefully as I approach my 50s, I will get more fit and more aware of my body than I have been. 


My son tells me that if we used to be athletic, our body remembers how to do it, so it comes back easily. I am hoping this is true for me. I’ll let you know how it goes. 

Flickering Eyesight

So, I have known for a long time that my eyes don’t work together. It has taken me almost 50 years to be able to describe what I see to peop...