How I See Things

How I See Things
Cartoon-like drawing in shades of dark to medium purple. Eyes with beautiful eyelashes, looking through a pair of glasses.

Monday, July 18, 2022


I have been observing the world for, well, my entire life. And by “world,” I mostly mean: The United States. I have spent the majority of my life here in the USA, though I have spent some minimal time in other countries. 

One of the things I have noticed become more prominent is since the beginning of Facebook. And, even then, only in the last few years in particular. 

I have noticed trolls - you know, those people on Facebook who love to pick arguments no matter what the topic is. At first, it seemed like trolls were just angry, mean people who got their jollies off of saying negative things to hurting people online, on forums, on Facebook. 

I remember seeing an article in The Christian Science Monitor quite a few years ago called, “The United States of Anger.” I went looking for it on their website,, but I can’t find it. There are over 70,000 “relevant” searches on the topic, but they are all from 2022. The article I am thinking about probably predated Nancy Pelosi’s first stint as a Speaker for the House. Whenever that was. 

The title caught my eye. It rang true for me, internally, and at the time I was the kind of person who prayed about everything. So I prayed about it. Trying to exude peace and love and kindness on the world, to help allay anger, smother the anger so it would turn into kindness towards one another.

I have noticed the United States is in a Civil War. It’s been going on quite a while. I can’t remember if I felt that was true before I saw the article, or after I saw the article. 

I feel like the war in the United States is extremely polar: Democrats vs. Republicans. It’s driving me bonkers, how close-minded folks are. So many people think everything is either Red OR Green. No other shade. (I would say “black vs. white,” but this is too commonly used, so I looked at the color wheel tattoo on my arm and chose 2 other, opposite colors.” 

I read this article this past week - and it scares me: 

I thought we were already in a Civil War. I was wrong. We’re still heading to one. 

I want to close this blog post with a quote from the late, honorable Senator Elijah Cummings, that I found on a USA Today page

"I've often said on the floor of the Maryland House of Delegates that our world would be a much better world, and a much better place, if we would only concentrate on the things we have in common, instead of concentrating on our differences," Cummings said. "It's easy to find differences, very easy. We need to take more time to find common ground." 

He paraphrased a Benjamin Mays poem, which he said he told himself as many as 20 times a day.

"I only have a minute, 60 seconds in it," he said. "Forced upon me, I did not choose it, but I know that I must use it, give account if I abuse it, suffer if I lose it. Only a tiny little minute.

"But eternity is in it." 

Thursday, July 14, 2022


A portion of an acrylic painting I did. Light turquoise, medium dusty blue, silver interact in an almost ethereal way.

Insurance doesn’t pay for vision therapy. And I couldn’t afford to go to vision therapy while also sending my son to visit on therapy. So, I stopped going to vision therapy when it was time to send my son. He is younger and I felt vision therapy could help him so much more than it’s been able to help my mid-life-self. I was right. it was the right thing to do. 

 Since stopping vision therapy, I am realizing I have started to go backwards. 

My eyes fatigue a lot. They are in pain a lot now. And I am finally admitting this to myself. 

Also, I am starting to dissociate again. Dissociating for me is when I float above my body. My mind is somewhere else entirely. I can be doing things and looking like I am interacting normally with whatever’s in front of me. It could be doing the dishes or driving my car on an extremely familiar route. 

I am just starting to admit this to myself - that I am starting to dissociate again. Time to get out the ankle weights, and do more difficult tasks that require focus, to keep me grounded. 

Flickering Eyesight

So, I have known for a long time that my eyes don’t work together. It has taken me almost 50 years to be able to describe what I see to peop...