How I See Things

How I See Things
Cartoon-like drawing in shades of dark to medium purple. Eyes with beautiful eyelashes, looking through a pair of glasses.

Monday, October 19, 2020

Reading space differently

My vision therapist has been so helpful and kind. She is super creative and patient. I really like her and appreciate her. 

She learned early on during our therapy that I need extra kind kid gloves to be treated with. I have had so many concussions and my life is in a rough patch, and she just gives me kindness and gentleness with my eyes. Above all, she wants me to feel SAFE at therapy. She has worked very hard to make sure I feel safe. And I do feel safe at therapy!

She has told me myriad times that we can only heal when we feel safe. I am so grateful she taught me that. It makes so much sense. 

One time, which I wrote about in the 3 part blog post, "My life changed for 24 hours," I wrote that I had a different therapist as a substitute one week. He had me doing something called "the Infinity Walk." Walking in an infinity sign around tall traffic cones, as I looked at a 3D image. I exited that walk and for the first time ever, saw in 3D. It was so remarkable! I got home and felt like the ceiling was closing in on me. It was scary and I didn't feel safe in my own home. 

It was then that I saw and appreciated how much my regular vision therapist works so hard to have me make gradual, safe shifts in my vision. I told her this then, and I told her again at my recent appointment with her. 

In the last month, or maybe the last 3 months (it has been so gradual that it's hard to say when it started), my ceilings have definitely started looking closer. I no longer hover my hand over a nearby wall when I am walking in a narrow space. I think that's part of what is called "proprioception." If I am getting my vocabulary words correct, that means "awareness of space." I have become more aware of where I am in space. This is excellent!

I noticed this last week that once again, I am parking better. This is HUGE for me. I am straight in the spot, not diagonal, and I am parked at a more reasonable distance from the white line in front of me. 

I told all of this to my vision therapist at my most recent appointment. She said that I am reading space differently! She was having me touch beads and look at them, and move them. I was able to reach out and touch the beads the first try, instead of reaching out and having to adjust where my fingers were so that I could touch the bead. 

In other. words, it is possible that I am starting to very gradually see things in 3D. Things don't look that different to me than they did my whole life. But I think that maybe I am starting to get a bit of that 3D perception, 3D vision. I would love to give you more analytical folks a number so you can understand what I still don't have. So I am going to say that I feel like I probably have between 3% and 10% 3D now. Things are not at all like that post when I said, "my life changed for 24 hours." But something has shifted and I am seeing space better. I have more 3D now, apparently, than I have ever had before. This is wonderful!

By the way, I have been going to vision therapy for over a year now. The kids generally need to go for 12 weeks or so. And most folks don't go for more than 3 sets of the 12 week sessions. I am about to start what will be my last set of 12 week sessions. They said they won't let me work beyond that. I am not sure why. So I may never achieve the full 3D that normal people with healthy, normal eyesight have. But I look forward to more improvements during my next sessions and in the weeks between. 

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