How I See Things

How I See Things
Cartoon-like drawing in shades of dark to medium purple. Eyes with beautiful eyelashes, looking through a pair of glasses.

Friday, March 5, 2021

Guard and Visual Memory

So it turns out that I have no visual memory. Imagine getting to the end of a paragraph of text, and you have no idea what the beginning of the paragraph said. 

School was full of that kind of thing for me. I would read and re-read and re-read, sometimes for 20 minutes - the same paragraph and still have no clue what I had read. It was so frustrating. 

I had been a ballerina from about 2nd or 3rd grade through my junior year in high school. I loved it! 

My sophomore year in high school, I went to try outs for A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I wanted to be one of the dancing fairies. I figured I had enough dance experience and I could do it. 

They showed us some choreography out in the hall. And I just KNEW I wouldn’t be able to learn it so quickly. They gave us about 20 minutes or so to work it out with each other. I didn’t know where to turn or how to get help. 

When we got on stage, I missed a turn or did the wrong thing. Then I blanked out. Then I ran backstage and just started crying. I was hysterical, frankly. I was so discouraged. 

Some really great gals came and told me to try again. They were so re-assuring. I knew I had messed up. And I knew I couldn’t do better. I knew other gals on that stage deserved to be able to be those fairies and I would flub it up. 

I didn’t go back out. I ended up doing makeup for the production. When the next production came out - “Little Shop of Horrors,” I played keyboard for it. (I’m a musician too.)

So, now I am a mom of two teen boys. My older boy has been a competitive dancer in his past. He is amazing. He learns choreography the first time he sees it. He always has. He amazes me. It must be so wonderful to see and understand something the first time you see it. 

He hasn’t done competitive dance for a while now. But he is a senior in high school and has discovered guard. 

Tonight, I went to a rehearsal for their upcoming competitions. I got to take photos of the kids. 

My son has told me that when the coach shows them new choreography, the coach tells the students to practice, and the coach walks away. The students turn to my son and he teaches it to them. 

He has visual memory. That’s amazing. I am so glad my son doesn’t have to deal with my disabilities that frustrate and drain my energy all day, every day. I am so tired of fighting to do things, and others do them so easily. And it’s because my eyes just don’t take in what others can see so easily. 

Please don’t ever take your own eyesight for granted. It’s a valuable tool. Worthy of being appreciated. 

I hope you get to see many beautiful things today, and maybe these photos of my son will be one of those things.

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