How I See Things

How I See Things
Cartoon-like drawing in shades of dark to medium purple. Eyes with beautiful eyelashes, looking through a pair of glasses.

Monday, November 2, 2020

Light Sensitivity

Did I mention that I am completely sensitive to light? It is another thing that is connected with Dissociation. 

I walk around my home with as few lamps turned on as possible. I just don't like artificial light. I love the light that comes in through the windows, though! I don't like it when I am sitting on the couch and the sun is setting and the sun glares into my eyes as it moves / as it sets. But the rest of the day, I love the natural light through the windows. 

When Dr. Davis tested me, he said at one point, as if it was obvious to him, "are you sensitive to light?" 

He pointed out something I hadn't realized - I am sensitive to light above my head. I mean, most light comes from above my head. But it turns out that in other ways they have tested me, I see things more easily when they come from below me, and I miss out of a lot of things above me. 

Come to think of it, every time I have had a concussion (and also including the head bumps I get too often when I am getting into my own car!), it is because I didn't see something above me; above my forehead. 

I wonder if them helping me with dissociation and also with the syntonics, light therapy, I wonder if this will help me not be so sensitive to light? I wonder if this will help me not keep my house at darker levels than others keep their house at. (I always figured I was saving energy anyway, so I didn't think much of it, the fact that I kept the house lights off as much as possible. But it has been known to bother room mates of mine over the years.)

Staring into a lightbulb every night for 10 minutes, then 10 minutes again .... even with the dark sunglasses on controlling the color and intensity that hits my eyes, well, it IS bright. In fact, I rather enjoy the indigo glasses and color. Indigo is one of my favorite colors! The green ones are noticeably brighter to me and I don't enjoy staring at that one nearly as much as the indigo. 

Interestingly enough, even though I am staring at a light bulb, it doesn't hurt my eyes the way I kept thinking it would. I would cringe at the beginning, but it hasn't ever hurt my eyes. Doing this day after day after day, I realized I started to look forward to doing it. 

I am supposed to do 20 sessions in a row of this. So far, I am having trouble getting up to more than 8 or 9 days in a row. Then my eyes are just tired and feeling strain. So I have to start my count of days all over again. 

I may have mentioned that in a few months, my son will be starting vision therapy with Dr. Davis' team too. I wonder if he will be given Syntonics / light therapy to do too? I wonder if he will be given different colored sunglasses to look through? 

I look forward to the time that I hope will happen - when I realize I am no longer sensitive to light the way I have been, my whole life. 

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